e-Vents

[ Thursday ]

 

Homeland 'Security'

On the way to the kitchen this morning for my first cup of coffee (prior to sitting down for the 700AM ET Centcom briefing), I encountered something that I have rarely seen in recent years...an invasion of sorts on my turf.

In what looked like a long convoy of Iraqi troops from my six-foot plus perspective (analogous to one of those orbiting optical satellites), I traced the line of invaders back to the entranceway of my home. I quickly retreated to the kitchen where I have stored a relatively large supply of chemical weapons (in this case, WPDs...weapons for pest destruction). In what could be described as a brilliantly executed battle plan, I quickly cut off the rear supply line with a few laser-guided squirts of tetramethrin cyclopropanecarboxylate. Although word apparently spread rapidly toward the front of the aggressor's line, several shots from the flank enabled me to destroy any of the fleeing attackers. Having vaulted to the lead positions, I quashed any remaining adversaries and laid down a semi-circular barrier, in order to prevent any strays from venturing forward. As the battle ended, I regrouped long enough to ponder what their objective might have been, and why the assault occurred at this particular time. I noted several interesting facts...

As we are under a new moon, they may have used the cover of darkness to launch their offensive. They forgot, however, that I not only own the night, but I also own the skies above.

Secondly, they attempted to move in the grout trenches, instead of over the 12 inch Italian tiles. This was an obvious ploy to avoid detection by other ground-level observers, and granted it almost worked. They were able to cover an area of almost twenty linear feet in less than eight hours...a remarkable feat by any estimate.

Unfortunately for them, with daylight upon them, they became defenseless targets from the air.

I am certain that some critics might view this 'highway of death' as unnecessary, and they are most certainly welcome to their opinions. Perhaps the invaders could have been convinced of the overwhelming odds through some form of diplomacy, or maybe offered asylum in an adjoining lot. But they chose instead to fight, and the outcome was inevitable.

While reflecting on the early morning activity, I suddenly realized that I still had not poured my first cup of coffee...and Centcom had already started their briefing. So much for my 'space' invaders...they were, afterall, only ants. Now let's get back to reality.

MM [13:15]